Unrealistic Expectations

In this episode Marishu And Colin break down the unrealistic expectations and supply you with tips and tricks to being fulfilled in your parenting and relationships. Also touching on bridging the gap of different parenting styles; and the importance of a positive productive environment and how to achieve it.

 

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0:21 – Marishu Introduces Colin and the topic of “unrealistic expectations of parenting”

1:00 – Colin shares the variables all parents are faced with

1:51 – Marishu shares the issues of undiscussed expectations

3:15 – Marishu breaks down the negative language that is used and encourages you to be realistic

4:30 – Colin shares a tip of knowledge about the questions we ask ourselves

5:30 – Marishu explains the value of being whole on your own and knowing what that is “keeping your love tank full”

6:47 – Colin shares his outlook on all the different outlets there are for gaining knowledge of parenting and how they have progressed over the years

7:47 – Marishu opens up about some tools for parents to discuss to make sure expectations can be met or compromised on

8:41 – Colin shares a story about spousal clash

9:25 – Marishu expands on agreements, be open to breaking down a way to co parent

10:17 – Marishu poses the question of spanking ‘Yay Or Neigh’

11:00 – Coloring book commercial (link needed)

12:02 – Marishu welcomes back Colin

12:30 – Marishu shares a story of how telling the truth creates realistic expectations

13:35 – Discussion of bridging together two different parenting styles

15:04 – Colin emphasises the need of finding a common ground

15:30 – Colin shares a story of listening to his child’s expectations

17:00 – Be the kind of parent who listens to a child’s goals and expectations

17:30 – Marishu shares a profound quote of scripture

18:00 – Marishu encourages you to listen to your children and don’t over expect from them

18:47 – Colin adds a tool to your parenting tool box

20:08 – Colin ensures the importance of environment and Marishu shares how to do that without leaving your neighbourhood

21:04 – Marishu recaps unrealistic expectations and content with what we have to offer

21:57 – Keep the line of communication open with your children and listen and have realistic expectations

23:22 – Colin explains his passion for environment and maximizing potential by altering environment

24:00 – Marishu Breaks down the imperfection in perfection

25:00 – weecanimagine.com the parenting-toolbox.com

25:30 – Colin enlightens us on the joy of the journey not just the destination

26:00 – (link to books)

Parenting tool box: Ricky Shetty interview

Ricky Shetty is an amazon best-selling author for his book “wisdom from daddies” as well as the owner operator of “daddy blogger” where he depicts his perspective of being a dad and also traveling with his family.

This Canadian born Blogger has his BA in Psychology obtained at UBC and uses his skills in fatherhood to run many workshops conferences and events all over greater Vancouver. In this episode Ricky will talk about what got him started blogging , how he asked his wife to marry him in a very elaborate way , and his overall outlook on marriage.
 

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0:38 – Ricky Introduced and speaks of his blog

1:17 – How Ricky got started with podcasting for the daddy masses

3:15 – “Wisdom for daddy” Ricky Shettys father help book

5:10 – Ricky Shares a family story about why he blogs

6:00 – Rickey elaborates on how divorce effects a family and mostly children

8:24 – Marishu summarizes Ricky’s venture through daddy hood and blogging along as they go

9:41 – Marishu asks Ricky what helped him become such a successful dad

10:42 – Ricky underlines the importance of daddy children time and providing quality time as well as stability and financial aid

12:20 – Colin explains the relevance of presence in your children’s lives

14:11 – How being a dad change your perspective answered by Ricky Shetty

15:53 – Marishu shares her formula for positive change

16:00 – Colin contributes some knowledge of the changes and perspectives of turning me, into we, into us from a daddy’s point of view

18:00 – How to download a free coloring book (hyperlink)

20:18 – How Ricky proposed to his wife

24:50 – Ricky elaborates on his view of marriage

25:25 – Marishu speaks of the challenge of a blended family

26:47 – Ricky Explains his “aha” moment

29:20 – Colin illuminates “how to share mom”

30:45 – Marishu gives some insight on keeping some mommy daddy time in your everyday life

33:23 – Ricky gives an important tip to dads everywhere

34:20 – Marishu references Ricky’s blog and thanks him for being a part of the show

Keeping Teens Safe

In this Parenting tool box episode Marishu and Colin go over the important steps in keeping a teen well informed and safe. They speak of the tips and tricks every parent should have under their belt as well as some key language and how to establish a strong line of trust honesty and empathy.

 

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0:10 – Marishu welcomes Colin And opens up talk about keeping children safe

0:50 – Talk of an unfortunate event of the loss of a set of Calgary teens

1:40 – Talk of peer pressure and its power

2:21 – Marishu break down the teen process

3:45 – Marishu goes in to hormone and brain power and how that can create risk in teens

5:00 – Marishu underlines the importance of open communications and open expectations

6:16 – Marishu explains leverage and the power of harnessing your leverage as a parent

7:20 – Colin tells a few story about how boys are sneakier than girls

8:00 – Marishu outs her daughter “girls can be dangerous too”

8:45 – The importance of mutual trust between you and your children

9:30 – Marishu touches on the fact Children aren’t fully able to grasp consequences of now and of the future

11:11 – Colin Speaks of negotiation and agreement and how open dialog can allow insight and trust

12:30 – Marishu tells a short story about listening to understand

13:10 – “Do what I say not what I do” and the struggle

14:00 – Marishu encourages to lead by example

15:08 – Recap After the break

15:24 – Marishu shares tips and tricks to tell when your kids are up to no good

16:21 – Marishu encourages to keep bonds with your children’s friends parents

17:05 – Colin Recalls a time when he didn’t have much information on where his children are

18:39 – Marishu speaks of the questions to ask yourself about your children

18:55 – Warning signs of what’s not working for your child

20:10 – Colin shares a story of his daughter and a party

21:05 – Colin advocates the power of making the hard decisions and saying no as well as saying yes

22:20 – Colin explains the power of visualization

24:17 – Marishu explains what worked for her and her children

24:56 – Marishu speaks of intuition and to trust your instinct

26:00 – Colin mentions the power of sacrifice and its importance

28:00 – Marishu encourages patience tolerance and empathy

28:28 – Listen to our podcast on itunes

Happiness

In this episode of the parenting tool box Marishu and Colin take us through the steps of establishing what truly makes us happy and what we have control over in our endless efforts to create a happy environment for ourselves and our family.

You’ll discover Colin’s Aha’ moment as well as Marishu words of wisdom on gratitude. As well as a link to Marishu’s Book “I have blah blah blah In My Ears” a great way to educate children of being mindful of the present.

 

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0:20 – Marishu introduces Colin and the topic of ‘creating a happy atmosphere’

0:44 – Defining what the source of unhappiness in a house hold can look like or be

1:25 – Marishu defines the true meaning of happiness

2:13 – Marishu poses a question to Colin about happiness being his choice

2:50 – Maria introduces a new tool to define and generate your happiness

4:00 – Marishu shares a story about purpose, and about using that as your power to be happy

6:06 – Colin shares some words he uses with his daughter about how to change their mood

7:22 – Marishu breaks out a new tool of communication on the matter of happiness

8:52 – Finding the happy zone

10:30 – Marishu speaks of the importance of being present and grateful for what we do have

11:54 – Coloring book break (need a link)

13:00 – Welcome back from the break, back in to the happy zone

13:30 – Colin shares a life story about being present

14:55 – Marishu breaks down the meaning of being mindful of the present

16:00 – Colin shares an ‘AHA’ moment

16:15 – (link to Marishu’s book I have blah blah blah in my ears)

17:10 – How to make an atmosphere of happiness

18:48 – Marishu asks a big question “if you could do what makes you happy what would it be”

19:39 – Marishu shares a story about the power of love

21:25 – Marishu explains how asking your children what they would do if money was no object can be a great tool in achieving happiness

24:27 – Marishu shares a story about never knowing what’s in someone’s heart

26:12 – Colin shares a story of perspective and appreciating what you do have

27:37 – Deliberate gratitude and its major relevance

28:23 – Colin explains his gratitude alarm

29:22 – Marishu wraps up the show and leaves the audience with an inspirational thought

Why parents choose homeschooling

Why parents choose homeschooling

Some families make the decision to homeschool because they want to have the different needs of their children addressed. A very large concern is violence and bullying at schools, which has reached epidemic proportions. The individual needs of children can be addressed more readily by a parent. Homeschooling is a very serious commitment, one to not be taken on lightly. Do your research and find a local homeschooling chapter or association in your area to connect with. They would be only too happy to share with you the pros and cons of homeschooling. Moral and Social concerns are also easier to control when schooling at home is done.

Here are some reasons for homeschooling

Better education-

One on one instruction

Broader more interactive learning

Addresses the individual needs of each child

Can add faith based belief or science oriented instruction to the curriculum

The child can move faster or slower as they progress through subjects

Safety and Security

With increasing violence and bullying in schools homeschooling can stop

Bullying, shaming, hate crimes, prejudice and racism

Control of Content

Your family values can be interwoven in the education

Christian values, non violence way of resolving problems

Farming, religion, philosophy, social justice, and charity can be easily explored

Travelling with your family is more accessible while homeschooling.

Special Needs

Many children have special needs such as learning disabilities or gifted children who are far ahead of their age group

Being able to spend the time needed to encourage and help a child through learning disabilities can be the difference between success and failure in a child’s life.

Gifted children can go through schooling at their own pace and be more easily challenged and channelled into higher learning.

The nurturing effect of a parent schooling their own child is unparalleled in the effective connection and foundation it offers a young student.

Should you homeschool?

Homeschool because

-you love the freedom it offers to study particular subjects more in depth.

– so you can guide your children at slower or more advanced levels according to their specific needs.

– it is an adventure to learn through “living books” (as opposed to only textbooks).

– to provide a more well-rounded education.

– you do not agree that the structured mode of study required in public or private school systems is the best option for your child and you want to take on a more “organic” approach to learning.

Whatever the reason you have – let it be the reason you are committed to it.

Some online resources are;

Simplycharlottemason.com

Whywaldorfworks.org

Learninghouse.ca

Other resources can be

Libraries, schools, online courses, teaching suppliers, other homeschooling parents or groups.

Should I pay my kids for Chores?

Should I pay my kids for Chores?

This is a hot topic among parents and one that has been long debated. One school of thought is that if I start paying my kids for chores they will want me to pay them to do anything around the house. The other thought is kids need money to buy things, why not get some stuff done around the house, you will buy them the things anyway.

What ever camp you are in, let me break down some of the thoughts I have on this subject, and hopefully some of the insight I have had through parenting and grand parenting will shed some light on the subject.

I have long believed that our kids job is to go to school, do their homework and keep their rooms clean. In parenting my children, they were clear on that score. No payment for that job was required, and although special rewards came from certain achievements, no allowance was paid for doing their job. Anything aside from that was open to negotiation.

Why? Well I believe that children do need a sense of accomplishment, and also money to buy things. They go out in the world and earn money doing their job, and that is how the world at large works. So why not teach our children that value of earning money, and the responsibilities that go with that.

Paying an allowance or agreed upon amounts for certain jobs brings with it the accountability for those said funds. Let’s say that your child wants a certain type of running shoe that is not necessary to their everyday life. My son collected Air Jordon’s and I was not going to buy them more than once a year. My son would just about any chore for his shoe fund. Another child of ours like to save money for a rainy day, which could mean pizza, candy, movies with friends.

Whatever system you create to compensate your child, it must be fair, realistic and most of consistent. Here are some tips that will help you create a balance between their “job” in life and pay for money chores.

Sit down as a family and be clear about what your expectations are of your child at home/school. I suggest you make yearly contracts that outline what the expectations are, with both you and your child signing that agreement. Secondly, openly talk about what you would be willing to pay for certain chores. Make sure you write up a weekly schedule that outlines the non negotiables first. After that you can add the agreed upon chores for cash. Whether it is a weekly amount or pay by chore, outline that system on a schedule. I call it the map to success. You are creating a guideline of expectations that will create accountability for both parties. Accountability creates clarity, the key to success in any relationship.
Communication is the foundation of a relationship, but the companion to that foundation is clarity. Knowing what is wanted and expected creates choice, thereby creating dialogue.

Get your child in the habit of keeping track of his/her money. I suggest you have them start a bank account and save a portion of all money they earn. If they save 40%, give 10% (charity or church) and spend 50%, it gives them a good idea of how life works. Balancing out their financial wellbeing by fostering an attitude of intention, planning and generosity gives them a head start in this long journey we go on as adults. Make sure fun is scheduled in their lives, we become so forgetful of simple laughter and joy as adults, your kids will rub off on you!

Family dinner table traditions

Family dinner table traditions

Many studies have been done on the benefits of eating dinner together as a family. I think it creates connection and culture within a family. Here are some of the benefits that the studies have found.

  1. When families eat together, everyone tends to eat healthier.Children are often eating more vegetables and healthier choices as they are part of the meal ritual and are being encouraged to eat the food provided.
  2. Children tend to eat more fruits and vegetables when they frequently have dinner with their families. Meal planning and healthier foods are made when a family sit down dinner is part of the daily routine.
  3. Children are less likely to be overweightParent are usually monitoring portions and what their kids are eating when they come together at dinner time on a frequent basis
  4. Children get better grades. I believe this is because parents are asking how school is, what is the status of homework or projects, and maybe even what difficulties they are facing at school. Positive feedback and encouragement goes a long way to better grades.
  5. Children have better language skillscompared to kids from families who do not have the check ins and family bonding time at the dinner table. It’s good for emotional health to share and care while socializing over a meal.
  6. Children who eat together at mealtime with their family report feeling happierand are more optimistic about the future. The family dining table provides stability, continuity and routine so badly needed in these formative years.
  7. Eating together can decrease stress levels of all the family, including working parents. Knowing that you can come home to a loving family and share a meal gives a family member the chance to shed their cares and connect with those they love.
  8. Eating together gives family members the chance to communicate and build relationships with each other. It can also promote your children creating mealtime traditions with their friends at school, as lunchtime can be stressful for school children. Bonding with friends over a meal can create the chance to build relationships and trust.

Although this may sound simple, it really is one of the best ways to ensure the emotional health of your family.

Some simple tips to create a fun zone at mealtimes are;

Involve your kids in meal planning

Get your kids cooking with you

Try different recipes that are from different cultures

Invite guests to your dinner table and cook a family favourite recipe

Make the dinner table an electronics free zone

Encourage a peaceful kind atmosphere at the dinner table

Adopting a vegetarian lifestyle

Adopting a vegetarian lifestyle

So, you are thinking about becoming a vegetarian? There is a lot to think about. Let’s start out with an understanding of what being a vegetarian means. There are a few categories.

  1. Lacto Vegetarian – no animal products except for dairy.
  2. Lacto-Ovo-Vegetarian- no animal products except for dairy and eggs.
  3. Pescatarian- (Veganish)No animal products except for dairy, eggs and fish.
  4. Vegan- No animal products
  5. Raw Vegan- No animal products and food not cooked above 48C or 118F

Hopefully this will dispel any confusion over Vegetarian terms. The most important thing when considering vegetarianism is to research the topic extensively. Are you ready for the commitment? Can you afford to buy the supplies needed?

If you are still game, then let’s start with the basic way to get started. I suggest you start with one meal a day for one month. Breakfast is a good start, and it is the easiest way to get familiar with eliminating common elements of your diet. Dairy is a hot topic for many vegetarians. Dairy advocates will say that it is mother’s milk and gives you a good source of iron/calcium. It is mother’s milk, but for a calf, not human. Milk is one of the leading causes of inflammation, and that can result in many ailments that are caused by an inflammatory internal environment. If you can switch to Almond or Coconut milk, it will make a huge difference to your overall health. There are many healthy alternatives to dairy products and I would encourage you to have an open mind about exploring them. I have seen eczema, psoriasis, and arthritis become almost non existent in those that left dairy in the past.

Start with breakfast, and get some great smoothie recipes. There are many breakfast meals that vegetarians can enjoy. Oatmeal with dates, waffles, muffins (high fibre), fruit salad and granola.

Once you eliminate the bad fats from products such as bacon, sausage, fast food that are simple carbs, you will notice how much sharper you feel in the morning. Upon rising drink some hot water with lemon, this gets your system flushed out. Plan out your breakfast the night before, and enjoy all the different flavours fresh food can provide.

Next, start dropping one animal product a week. I recommend you start with red meat, and eliminate that over the next four weeks. You will feel a great deal of resistance to this, as it is surprising that once you make up your mind to eliminate something, it shows up in abundance. Don’t shame yourself, but rather recommit to the goal of becoming a vegetarian. Every month replace another meal, until you have eliminated animal products altogether. Get recipe books, and join an online community if it will inspire you to stick with your new lifestyle.

Overall becoming a vegetarian will help reduce bad fats, salt and sugar from your diet. Blood pressure, diabetes, weight issues, heart disease and skin disorders will be greatly reduced. Vegetarian lifestyle is great for the environment, both inside and out. As many Tibetans say, being a vegetarian is a peaceful way to live life!

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