This is a hot topic among parents and one that has been long debated. One school of thought is that if I start paying my kids for chores they will want me to pay them to do anything around the house. The other thought is kids need money to buy things, why not get some stuff done around the house, you will buy them the things anyway.

What ever camp you are in, let me break down some of the thoughts I have on this subject, and hopefully some of the insight I have had through parenting and grand parenting will shed some light on the subject.

I have long believed that our kids job is to go to school, do their homework and keep their rooms clean. In parenting my children, they were clear on that score. No payment for that job was required, and although special rewards came from certain achievements, no allowance was paid for doing their job. Anything aside from that was open to negotiation.

Why? Well I believe that children do need a sense of accomplishment, and also money to buy things. They go out in the world and earn money doing their job, and that is how the world at large works. So why not teach our children that value of earning money, and the responsibilities that go with that.

Paying an allowance or agreed upon amounts for certain jobs brings with it the accountability for those said funds. Let’s say that your child wants a certain type of running shoe that is not necessary to their everyday life. My son collected Air Jordon’s and I was not going to buy them more than once a year. My son would just about any chore for his shoe fund. Another child of ours like to save money for a rainy day, which could mean pizza, candy, movies with friends.

Whatever system you create to compensate your child, it must be fair, realistic and most of consistent. Here are some tips that will help you create a balance between their “job” in life and pay for money chores.

Sit down as a family and be clear about what your expectations are of your child at home/school. I suggest you make yearly contracts that outline what the expectations are, with both you and your child signing that agreement. Secondly, openly talk about what you would be willing to pay for certain chores. Make sure you write up a weekly schedule that outlines the non negotiables first. After that you can add the agreed upon chores for cash. Whether it is a weekly amount or pay by chore, outline that system on a schedule. I call it the map to success. You are creating a guideline of expectations that will create accountability for both parties. Accountability creates clarity, the key to success in any relationship.
Communication is the foundation of a relationship, but the companion to that foundation is clarity. Knowing what is wanted and expected creates choice, thereby creating dialogue.

Get your child in the habit of keeping track of his/her money. I suggest you have them start a bank account and save a portion of all money they earn. If they save 40%, give 10% (charity or church) and spend 50%, it gives them a good idea of how life works. Balancing out their financial wellbeing by fostering an attitude of intention, planning and generosity gives them a head start in this long journey we go on as adults. Make sure fun is scheduled in their lives, we become so forgetful of simple laughter and joy as adults, your kids will rub off on you!

So, you are thinking about becoming a vegetarian? There is a lot to think about. Let’s start out with an understanding of what being a vegetarian means. There are a few categories.

1. Lacto Vegetarian – no animal products except for dairy.
2. Lacto-Ovo-Vegetarian- no animal products except for dairy and eggs.
3. Pescatarian- (Veganish)No animal products except for dairy, eggs and fish.
4. Vegan- No animal products
5. Raw Vegan- No animal products and food not cooked above 48C or 118F

Hopefully this will dispel any confusion over Vegetarian terms. The most important thing when considering vegetarianism is to research the topic extensively. Are you ready for the commitment? Can you afford to buy the supplies needed?

If you are still game, then let’s start with the basic way to get started. I suggest you start with one meal a day for one month. Breakfast is a good start, and it is the easiest way to get familiar with eliminating common elements of your diet. Dairy is a hot topic for many vegetarians. Dairy advocates will say that it is mother’s milk and gives you a good source of iron/calcium. It is mother’s milk, but for a calf, not human. Milk is one of the leading causes of inflammation, and that can result in many ailments that are caused by an inflammatory internal environment. If you can switch to Almond or Coconut milk, it will make a huge difference to your overall health. There are many healthy alternatives to dairy products and I would encourage you to have an open mind about exploring them. I have seen eczema, psoriasis, and arthritis become almost non existent in those that left dairy in the past.

Start with breakfast, and get some great smoothie recipes. There are many breakfast meals that vegetarians can enjoy. Oatmeal with dates, waffles, muffins (high fibre), fruit salad and granola.

Once you eliminate the bad fats from products such as bacon, sausage, fast food that are simple carbs, you will notice how much sharper you feel in the morning. Upon rising drink some hot water with lemon, this gets your system flushed out. Plan out your breakfast the night before, and enjoy all the different flavours fresh food can provide.

Next, start dropping one animal product a week. I recommend you start with red meat, and eliminate that over the next four weeks. You will feel a great deal of resistance to this, as it is surprising that once you make up your mind to eliminate something, it shows up in abundance. Don’t shame yourself, but rather recommit to the goal of becoming a vegetarian.  Every month replace another meal, until you have eliminated animal products altogether.  Get recipe books, and join an online community if it will inspire you to stick with your new lifestyle.

Overall becoming a vegetarian will help reduce bad fats, salt and sugar from your diet. Blood pressure, diabetes, weight issues, heart disease and skin disorders will be greatly reduced. Vegetarian lifestyle is great for the environment, both inside and out. As many Tibetans say, being a vegetarian is a peaceful way to live life!

How many times do your hear people say that their parents spoil their kids rotten. Can you relate to that concept? Thinking back on my friends’ experiences, I can see the good cop/bad cop scenario being played out. The parents of young children are busy creating a balance of fun with life lessons, or as children see it, discipline. Parents often feel as if grandparents come along and get to have all the fun without the work of raising the grandkids.

As a parent and grandparent myself, I am aware of the challenges to respect my adult children and their chosen parental style. Creating a dialogue with my kids that allows my husband and me to have quality time with our grandchildren has minimized any problems on that front. Respecting boundaries and guidelines set out by our children and their spouses has kept conflict to a minimum.

A great question to ask, as a parent,is what is best for the child? Grandparents add support, joy and guidance to children. In return, grandchildren add happiness, fulfillment and joy to the grandparents’ lives. Research has found that both grandparents and grandchildren who felt emotionally close to the other generation had fewer symptoms of depression.”Extended family members, such as grandparents and grandchildren, serve important functions in one another’s daily lives throughout adulthood,” said study researcher Sara Moorman, professor of sociology at Boston College.

I have a belief that having a close relationship with your grandchildren strengthens your relationship with your own adult children. Adult children now experiencing parenthood have a great appreciation for what their own parents went through. Long held resentments can be let go when a greater understanding of the challenges are experienced first-hand. Grandparenting has taught me to experience unconditional love on such a deep level that it has transformed my practices of kindness, forgiveness and compassion tenfold. The honour of having these beautiful humans in my daily life has forever been imprinted on me with a joy words cannot express.

Spoiling grandchildren with gifts, candy, and other material niceties is a valid point of concern. However, never confuse a loving relationship as spoiling, for no one ever dies of too much love.